Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thoughts on Eminem, Girl Like Me, Whiteness
Today's class was intense for many of us. Unpacking our own sense of privilege is never easy and can make us angry. A student and I spoke after class about some of the negative impacts that Eminem has on youth especially when some of his lyrics are mysoginist and homophobic. Feel free to respond to thoughts about class today or anything that it touched upon. Bonus points for respondents.
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I first found out about whiteness two years ago, in African American lit. Acceptance did not come easily. At first, I was skeptical about the fact that the concept of whiteness would manage to escape me for the previous two decades of my existence. But when I began to realize some associations that I had to the portrayal of race, the shock was like a bucket of ice water.
It’s not as if I had never seen a person of color before, but as if I had never really seen a white person. My whole world was rocked from that point onward. African American lit was hard for me – there were some days that I didn’t want to go to class because the atmosphere was profoundly uncomfortable. I had to be shaken down to nakedness before a classroom of many different kinds of people; I felt vulnerable and judged. And I couldn’t be more thankful for it, because I was finally able to see a sort of truth that you can’t fully get without experience.
Though I can never completely experience what my life would be like if I hadn’t been born and labeled “white,” I can and have made the decision to remain as conscious as possible. I talk about race, historically and present, with all of my friends and I try to actively educate myself.
This semester, I have been more involved than ever, as I begin to realize my purpose in this world. Much of my recent inertia sprang from Dr. Cornel West’s speech on our campus. When I walked into the Eberly auditorium, I strongly felt the fact that I was in the white minority. It was like being shaken down to nakedness all over again. Over the course of his speech, he spoke so charismatically, so openly, so lovingly, so truly that I began to feel less like a white person in a crowd of many colored faces. At the conclusion, I was one person in a group of beautiful people. I felt as though my whiteness had faded, not to invisibility, but to transcendence because of what had grown in my heart.
I wracked my vocabulary for a word other than “heart” to use in that last sentence, but I couldn’t find anything more apt. I’m an agnostic, as far as deities go, and I had a truly religious experience that night. I have emphatically not let the events of that night fade into a memory, but kept seeking and searching and finding that true human connection essential to overcoming racism and prejudices of all kinds. Still, the best word, the best method that I can find is love. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Dr. West both conveyed their messages on the substrate of love, and I have found nothing to be so effective, to apply more indiscriminately to all of mankind.
Since Dr. West’s speech, I have tried diligently to keep myself immersed in the significance. I found a great recording of one of his speeches on youtube, entitled “Paraphernalia of Suffering, Pt.3” and I also found a really great interview with Saul Williams called “Saul Williams-Wake Up Show (BRILLIANT).” It’s all speech, so I can play these clips while I’m going about my daily life, guiding my mind in a direction that’s not only important, but essential to me.
I have shared these as well as the “Girl Like Me” video with my boyfriend, and I will probably share them with other friends this weekend. These stark truths mean too much to me to just let them pass and carry on about my business. My heart will haunt me with guilt if I do nothing. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said that those who passively allowed injustice to continue were just as guilty as the source of the injustice. I feel this, because if I should try to ignore what I now know, I could never sleep at night. It is only by exposing my whiteness, by allowing myself to be perpetually shaken down to nakedness and exposing others, with love, to their own whiteness that I can live without guilt, because I love and believe in my fellow humans.
Adelay- your honesty and comfort in sharing this is breathtaking. I appreciate your willingness to put this out to the class. Once you begin to unpack your sense of privilege and the power that comes with skin color, you will forever be changed. Keep up the great thinking.
I'm not sure that I could ever find the words to say that would compete with the honest and real feelings that Adelay just shared. I thought this would be an easy oppurtunity for some extra credit but now, it's not so easy.
During my African American Lit course, I was saddened to watch the faces of my peers. I could see that some of them just didn't get it and didn't care if they got it. Not to say that I now understand what it is to be "othered" or even understand all the ways that I in fact, "other" others. However, the struggle I went through with the texts and the meanings and emotions behind them wasn't as apparent on some of my peers faces. To some of them, it was just a course. This is how being unconscious of one's unconsciousness fuels the flame of marginalization.
To watch the "Girl Like Me" video was truly disheartening. The look of disgust on the little girl's face when she was asked what doll looked like her... how can I ever get over that look? It was as if she had just been slapped in the face with the fact that she was black. It was as though, in her imagination, she was white and had to be reminded that she wasn't. What kinds of things do I do that can make a beautiful little girl of no more than seven or eight years old be disgusted by her color?
As a future teacher of English,I fear the answer to that question. I have begun to question why I think and act the way I do. I have to examine my prejudices and be willing to shift them in order for me to create such a shift in the future generations. So often, I fear talking about ethnicity because I'm afraid that I will use the wrong word or phrase and sound "ethnicist" (Is that even a word? It should be). However, now I realize that by not talking about it I help to disenfranchize others. I help keep the "whiteness" intact and the others "othered."
I watched "Akeelah and the Bee" about a year ago and I learned so much from that movie on the dscourses of other cultures, primarily black Ebonics. I recommend that movie to anyone who suggests to me that there is a "proper English." I will admit that there is a "Standard White English (SWE);" however, it should never be called "proper." Languages and discourses should be appreciated and not "corrected" in an English classroom. We can convey to our students that there may be times when SWE is advantagous, but it shouldn't be used as a "right" to their "wrong."
As Adelay states so beautifully, being shaken down to nakedness is a very uncomfortable feeling. However, the feeling I got today watching those children praise a white doll rivals the nakedness.
“Girl Like Me” only reaffirmed, deepened the passion that I feel to rid myself, if not others, of this “whiteness” that seems like a plague of the world. I mentioned in class that it happens in other cultures, both with and without the help of Westerners, and it is just as true there as it is here.
Whether you see it or not, in some way, even the minutest, people look down upon others of “color”, so to speak. Our language, actions, gestures, media, everything has some skew, in one way or another, toward a particular group or race. But, the most prevalent of all of these is the “white” symbolism, the one that has prevailed over thousands of years to subjugate and make difficult the lives of people that don’t look like us.
Even in today’s politics, we see that, in the media, Obama is the “Black” or “African American” candidate and Clinton the “woman” candidate…like we talked about, are the modifiers really necessary? This only furthers the discrimination between candidates, because you never hear McCain described as “the old, white guy”.
As for Eminem, I'm not sure he is mysoginist or homophobic, but it is really just a way of getting the point across. While I'm sure it is him, he often seems like he is speaking from another perspective, as he has noted in interviews I've seen him in. People hear words, but they rarely try to read into them or analyze them beyond a surface meaning; I'm sure this is what causes misunderstanding. Then again, some people may not be able to separate the two, take Eminem's words for face value, and use them as affirmation for their "cause" or belief.
As with everything, you must take it with a grain of salt, or at least be a little more open...I don't, for a moment, believe Eminem is actually homophobic, sexist, etc.
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I would take this opportunity to talk about a related issue, one that could, possibly, help the issue, but one that will take a lot of time and effort on the part of Americans; an example of it was in “Girl Like Me”.
We, as Americans, will call ourselves Americans at times, but more often than not identify ourselves with another country, mainly because we all come from another one (save for Native Americans). This is probably more specific and relevant when it comes to white people because we’ll often say, “Oh, I’m German, English, French, etc.” but what we should here is, “Oh, I’m American”; mostly, I hear this from military personnel. Maybe not on the same level, but the girl in the video identifies herself as “African” not “African American”. I’m sure there are roots deeper than I could possibly imagine, but I believe a great barricade that prevents us from not identifying race is that of a lack of national identity, and you see this in other countries as well. Sure, when a great tragedy like 9/11 occurs, we have a pseudo-national identity, but, as you may have noticed, that fades away…somehow, we as a nation, need to build this identity together.
I always identify myself as an American.
I love you guys!
sj
Will the real whiggas please stand up?
Hi, my name is Stephanie, and I'm a white, upper-middle class, college-educated, Jewish, straight female. Catchy, huh? Maybe I should introduce myself like that to everyone I meet. Then again, it is a bit wordy...
It's hard to look past the history of skin color. It's undeniable that white supremacy rules the world; but whose decision is it to keep things that way?
As an aspiring journalist, maybe I don't want to cross enemy lines to report on Bush's latest mistake. But I do want to make a difference (I know; I'm a bleeding heart for the media). My roommate, a child-something-something major, has an inspiring story to tell about her dreams to break through the boundaries that label us. Wouldn't it be nice...?
When I was in middle school, I had the obliged pleasure to read James Baldwin's "Go Tell It on the Mountain." Though not my first foray into African-American literature, it easily had the heaviest impact on me. Baldwin's descriptions of the "black" life crawl deep under your skin and, as any great writer can, makes you feel like the only white kid on the block. Prejudice is so often a main topic in A-A literature ... But where does it stand in that of any Caucasian writer's work? When was the last time Stephen King wrote about walking his dog around Maine and being racially profiled by the police?
Like I mentioned in class, I truly feel a deep remorse over the fact that, historically, it has been "my people" who lead four-year-old children of any ethnicity other than Caucasian to believe that they aren't as worthy. With my own history of a Holocaust and a general hatred of people who are different (add gypsies and homosexuals to the list, and you could be Hitler's right-hand man). No, I didn't survive the concentration camps and Jewish ghettos, so I can't assume I understand the persecution of minorities today, or during the Civil Rights Movement. But I have heard the stories, read the books and listened to the accounts, trying to learn all I can about everything I am not.
Whew - now I have some time to buy Eminem's new autobiography. So totally excited...!
genius. poetic, lovely, moving.....you all are my new heroes/heroines...
All of these stories are amazing and I'm afraid I don't have a touching story to share. Like many others, all my life I've grown up in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, a dominant area of wealthy white people with almost no source of diversity. It was when I first came to college that I realized although I came from a good school district, I was only sheltered from the world growing up where I did. Although I didn't have one particular experience where I realized the difference of ethnicity, but I have had many small experiences being out of my comfort zone just because it wasn't what I know.
I thought A Girl Like Me was very interesting and well put together to prove an important point. I joined others in the class in shock to the conclusions of the doll experiment. I think then I realized how serious a problem it is.
Sometime last year I was watching the Oprah show and it was a special on Sidney Poitier, a very well known author. I went out and got his book The Measure of a Man. It is a spiritual autobiography of his life featuring vivid emotion of his experiences being black. I highly recommend reading it.
Corey’s post reminded me of a couple of things that I’d like to write about. Whiteness is peculiar, in that there is no particular, concrete “source,” as in one viable culprit. In this sense, it occurs to me that it is a simulacrum, as previous beliefs have been proven false; we are left with the reverberation into the present. This realization is crucial to me in understanding the sheer gravity of a simulacrum. I can joke about Disney World all I want, but this simulacrum is and continues to be dangerous. It’s spun out of control like AI, beyond the control of the original operators, perpetrators, instigators.
If I have mistaken the meaning of a simulacrum, please feel free to guide me in the right direction. But it feels true to me now, and I sense that understanding (or at least trying to understand) anything about such a juggernaut is the first step to reclaiming authority over it. Whiteness is, after all, constructed by individuals. I believe, therefore, that it can be deconstructed by individuals.
Another thing that Corey mentioned is that he doesn’t believe that Eminem is misogynistic or homophobic. I think that’s a wise move, and that his English major is apparent. “Eminem” can be thought of as the narrator, not necessarily identical to the man performing the act. It’s all too easy to jump to conclusions and feel like you know someone through the lyrics of their songs, or through their roles in film or television. Deconstruction might be one of the most valuable tools that I have acquired in my (admittedly lengthy) college career.
I did a radio show tonight on wIUP’s station from 9-10 as a special on hip-hop. I tried to give a background of hip-hop based on what we saw on Scratch and SLAM in class, as well as some stuff that I dug up myself. I started with Afrika Bambaataa and information about the origins of the Universal Zulu Nation, then a little bit about De La Soul. I played Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power,” after describing that Saul Williams had said they were the only rappers to be temporarily banned from the radio after 9/11. Then I played a scratch-off between DJ Qbert and Mixmaster Mike, followed by the X-Ecutioner’s intro. I explained after that a little bit about why I was playing hip-hop on the “indie” station: that hip-hop is “progressive” (the name of the show is Progressions) and that hip hop has ties to poetry and SLAM. I played some spoken word from Def Jam by Shihan, and then a hybrid poem/track by Saul Williams, followed by his relatively recent song “List of Demands.” At the end of that song, I talked about the social and political importance of hip hop, and played Immortal Technique’s “Land of the Gun” (which took about a half hour to edit to FCC regulations). I found the Cornel West clip that I mentioned in my earlier post, and I played from 15:12-17:35, where he talks about gangsta rappers mirroring what they see in “freemarket fundamentalism run amok.” I ended with the RZA’s “Certified Samurai.”
The whole time I was on the air, I was a sweaty, shaky mess. After our show is the Underground, and just outside the booth, several other students who most likely know much, much more about hip-hop could hear everything that I was saying as it was broadcast. I think I would have been nervous anyway, because I’m emphatically NOT an expert on hip hop, I just find it to be immensely powerful and often beautiful in its truth. I might have stumbled through a lot of it, and repeated the words “important” and “political” about three too many times, but I feel really good about it. I had a CD in and I thought it was recording, so that I could share it, but I came home to find that it’s still a blank disk. Anyway, I’ve decided to continue with the hip-hop hour next Friday, and I hope to be a little smoother with it. I invite anyone to tune in to 90.1 or wiupfm.com next Friday night at 9 (our show starts at 8, the hip hop starts at 9) if you’ve got an hour to spare. Also, if you’d like to actually come in and share some ideas with me on air, that would be cool, too! Let me know in class if you want in!
Just reading all of this makes my head spin. I'm at a loss as to how, being part of a "white" culture, I am so confused about what it is to be white. I mean, those of color are more often than not taught to understand, accept, and embrace what it means to be of color. Why is whiteness not discussed? I feel as though the history of being white is a stain or scar that one tries to hide because it can only come from doing something bad.
I'm gaining a lot from these postings but this whole idea just seems so complex to me. I fear that I may never have a firm grasp on what it means to be white and how whiteness keeps others marginalized. HELP!
Adelay,
You came up with an interesting point, but I'm not so sure that the "whiteness" factor is "out of our control", so to speak. Editors of books must make conscious decisions about what/how they write in their books, the media makes decisions about what they air (so do shows like Cops, something that is, also, very one-sided), and we make, often, conscious decisions about who we associate with and who we don't.
I'm not saying that everything is conscious, and to an extent I'm sure some of it is unintentional, but, in my opinion, it remains very much "in control" of the "white" powers that be (whether this is in the form of individuals or the entirety of the "absence of color"...or something in between).
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There was an interesting children's story that my girlfriend had shown me, and it was used to teach colors to children who speak Chinese. The subliminal message of the story was that, possibly, the "white" population is the real race with color.
I don't remember it exactly, and I could not find the link, but it was from the perspective of an African (black) child. He says that when he is sick, embarrassed, angry, cold, etc., he remains black. But "white" people turn green, and red, and pink, and blue, and purple, that they are the real representation of "color".
We all have color in us, but not all of us see that we are the same; this relation makes us all the same...none of us are a void or completeness of color, in effect making us equal.
Just thought I'd chime in and I must agree that the video (especially the ending) was terribly sad. It's so sad to see a child come a realization and the look on the girls face said everything and more...
I did a pre-student teaching program that IUP offers last summer called the Philadelphia Urban Seminar (for those teacher-to-be's in class I highly recommend this over any pre-student teaching offers in the area).
For only the second time in my life I found myself in an environment where I was literally the minority. The school I was at is known as Conwell Middle School and is located in the Kensington area of Philadelphia. It's a magnet school and students travel from all over the city to get to it. One child took 3 public transportation buses and the "L" to get to school (amazing and shocking all at once).
The majority of these students are middle class students whose parents have decided that these kids "will" go to school and "will" make something of themselves. The teachers and faculty of the school displayed hope for the children, but also spoke of the fact that most of them would never graduate school. The student population was mostly Hispanic, followed up by African American..then Asian and Whites (who seemed to be equal numbers).
At the beginning of the program, these had been the baddest students I had ever seen. Culture-shock is the best description for what I was experiencing - in this classes terminology - I was totally destabilized. The teacher would point out who the trouble makers were and why after the class.
I wound up teaching these students how to draw cartoons and though I wanted them to be expressive and original, it was advised that I stick to something that could be easily identified....Mickey Mouse and Co. (which was no problem). Within two days, I had become known as "Mr. T" (and I relished this). I saw a totally new side to these students within two days...they loved me and I had started to absolutely adore them.
On my final day in the 5/6 grade level I had a moment where I was helping one of the largest trouble makers in the class...Juan Carlos. He was 13 and had just discovered "girls" and only had one thing on his mind. He was highly talented in art, but easily led astray. His homeroom teacher said that he was bad all day until the class period before art...she then notcied a change in him and then when art came, he had become a totally different person. He was very attentive and always willing to help - not normal for him.
Anyhow, he wanted to learn to draw Goofy and I knelt beside him and instructed him what to do. He told me that his dad was a graphic designer, but that "I was the best artist he has ever met". I told him that he was very talented and that if he focused more and stayed out of trouble he could easily end up in one of the art based high schools in Philly. He brightened up and asked if I was being honest. He then asked that if I ever opened a studio in Philly if I would be willing to hire him to work for me. All the students laughed at him for such a request and I let it linger for a second. I asked him I would want to hire him and he got more laughter and some light insults from his peers...then I let him know that I'd be more than willing to work for "him" at his studio instead.
With that the table of jokesters went silent and he had the biggest smile on his face. I told him that he didn't need to work for anyone but himself and that if he did well he could accomplish more than what I could offer him.
I'm not sure that these students are actually approached in the manner in which I did with him. He and a couple others were always so focused on working for someone else and the way some of the teachers talked it didn't appear as if they had an "individualized" future ahead of them. I hope that I at least instilled the knowledge that he could easily become something more than what most people had already labeled for him.
Sorry...this turned out to be really long.
Doug Thomas
One thing that annoyed me about "8 Mile" was the way that they pointed out a kind of opposite racism. Let me try to make that a bit clearer. When Eminem was in that battle scene with the privileged gangsta, calling him out for being the real poser, I felt that it was taking a stab at African Americans. It was almost saying that yeah white people might be racist but so are black people. The same thing goes for "Save the Last Dance". The white girl(Julia Stiles) was told that she was up in the world of the black people around her, that she was taking all of their "good men". I'm sorry but having family members that were birthed into slavery and getting told off for dating someone from another race is very different. Having children of color prefer the white baby doll over the black baby doll is very different. Having young African American girls believe that their hair is too curly or their skin is too dark to be beautiful is very different. It's like the writers are comparing apples and oranges. My guess: the writers are white.
Wow, after reading what everyone has said so far I don't even know where to begin. I unfortunately was absent on Thursday, and I really wish I could have been there for the class discussions. What everyone in these blogs write is really powerful.
After reading through what everyone said in their blogs I went onto youTube and watched the "girl like me" clip that I had missed in class. I played it twice and was shocked at watching it, i even pulled my roomates into the room to watch it a third time.It really saddened me to see them choose the white doll as the "good" doll and the black doll as the "bad" one. It is really hard to describe my feelings on this because this study done can be interpreted in many ways.
I understand that racism is still a big issue in todays world, but we have to remember that we have come a long way so far. We just have to not necessarily accept, but realize that there are close minded cultures of people that will never change their minds on racism.
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This really is a touchy subject to talk about. reading through what I wrote so far almost makes it sound like I agree with these negative beliefs people have. I do think that it is terrible to discriminate against people. this topic is just complicated and hard to wrap my brain around.people shouldn't be ashamed to be "white" or "black" or wherever they came from.
I've seen 8 miles many of times. However, I never actually analyzed it like we did on Thursday. It blew me away. So I re watched 8 Miles on Friday and picked up on many things that I never noticed before while watching it. It amazes me the insight and the many different lines that i never picked up on before watching it.
As for "A girl like me" I've seen it before. As like you Beckie, I am a Oprah junkie and Oprah held a a whole show on this documentary. I can't even tell you how blown away I was. Its absolutely repulsing to think young pre school children think "whiteness" is the beauty of this world. Just wait til they learn what Sidney Poitier, Oprah Winfrey, Halle Berry, Denzel Washington, Barack Obama, to name a few has accomplished in this world. Its remarkable to be that little children believe they are hopeless in this world because of their skin color.
A personal experience that has happened to me that has reflected identity was when i became a student here at IUP. I am from a very jewish populated area in Maryland and I never thought being jewish would make such a huge ruckus here. I was appalled when a friend of mine invited me home with her one weekend and introduced me to her friends as "This is my JEWISH friend Allie." I looked at her like did u just seriously say that? What does me being jewish have any impact of introducing me to your friends? It made me feel very uncomfortable and I never will be ashamed of being jewish, ever.... but I was ashamed of my friend to even think about introducing me in such a surprising way. I don't know if she did it ti strike up converstation but it was extremely rude and impolite thing to do.
Wow! These comments are really blowing me away. Along with others I was saddened, angered, and really taken back by the You Tube video: A Girl like Me. The girls in the video stated some stereotypes about black women. These include having a big butt and big boobs, loud, obnoxious, ghetto, and not smart. I imagine others have this unfair belief as well too. It really took me by surprise that some individuals would go to the extent of laying a bath full of bleach and bleaching their children. This is promoting to the children that their color is bad and they need to take such drastic measures to be accepted by society and consider “beautiful.” One girl even said she thought her skin was too dark and she was not beautiful because of it. Another girl stated that she would never marry a darker man because she did not want that in her gene pool. All of the girls in the video were very beautiful and it truly saddened me to see they did not feel the same.
I never sat back to think of how drastically children of different color are affected by society when they are growing up. During the experiment the children choose the white doll as the nice doll and the black doll as bad At the end of the experiment a little girl was asked what doll looked like her and it really hurt to see her saddened that she had to choose the black doll. It seemed as though she wanted to choose the white doll but couldn’t. Watching the children put the white doll on a higher pedestal was gut retching. It makes me angry that this is how our youth is growing up and this is what we are teaching them to believe. Society is allowing these children to believe they are not as good as other children their age because of skin color. This is disturbing to think that these children devalue themselves before they can even reach their true potential.
This weekend I was watching this special on TV that dealt with race issues. They did this social experiment where they had a group of white teenage boys vandalizing and breaking into a car in a suburban park parking lot in broad daylight while people were walking around the lake. First they had four white boys vandalizing. People walked by and looked leary of the activity. One man asked them if it was their own car they were doing that to and confronted them about the situation but didn't call the cops. Meanwhile on the other side of the lake there were four black teens reclined in a car asleep, and a white man walking by called the police on his cell phone and reported that "they looked suspicious like they were waiting to get drugs or rob somebody." Next they had a group of black teens vandalize a car at the same location. This time eight walkers called the cops.
This reminded me about what we talked about in class. Whites are quick to forget how much we benefit from our whiteness. This experiment really brought forward that truth. I mean really, a group of black kids sleeping in a car are more threatening than a group of white kids tagging and bashing in the windows of a car with a pipe in hand? This is wrong and backwards on so many levels.
It's haunting almost because as a country we tout ourselves as diverse and proud. We are supposed to have learned from past atrocities that opressed non-whites, yet, clearly rasism is much more alive in society than whites feel comfotable admitting.
After leaving class on Thursday, I can say that it was one of the most impacting classes I've ever been a part of. Before the class discussions and topics we covered, I hadn't really analyzed in too much depth the impact of the actions of the people that make up our society.
I can honestly say that watching the video "Girl Like Me" I was horrified to find out just how much insight young children had into the world surrounding them. It is astonishing and horrifying to see that our actions as a whole can reflect so negatively on a child's life. Children's lives are supposed to be fun and worry-free, but as the video shows, many insecurities and stereotypes have taken many of the fun times away. It makes me sad to say that I am a "part of" the society that has created such a world that is troubled with diversity.
In watching the movie 8 Mile, I too have seen it numerous times but have never "listened" to what they were saying. By watching it and studying it, it really opens your eyes to the great deal of hardships that people have in their lives. I personally do not have any experiences to the extent that we discussed in class, but I now am much more aware to many of the messages that are conveyed throughout films and how strongly they impact my feelings and emotions.
Every comment i read i am blown away, and i am learning new things from each and every one of you.Last thursdays class was definitely one of the best classes ive had in my college career.
I am a 21 yr old, black female, who grew up in the suburbs of philadelphia. I have highly enjoyed my life and wouldn't want to grow up in any other place. Yes, my school was 3% black, but that also helped me learn a lot, and helped me accept people for who they are. My parents taught me to be me, and not to let anyone take that away from me. All my life i've listened to the music i wanted too, dressed how i wanted to dress, and talked the way i wanted to talk. But To some people i wasn't considered "black" enough. So tell me, what does being black mean exactly. Does it mean fitting the "stereotype" for black people, of only listening to hip hop,dressing "ghetto", or talking ebonics. Well ive got news for you world, not all black people are like that. Just like not all white people listen to country music, and play golf. Its all stereotypes and i really wish people would breakaway from those stereotypes, and be themselves, no matter what anyone says.
Luckily growing up i havent had many problems involving racism. Sadly i do live about 20 minutes from one of the biggest KKK areas. And believe me when i go to those areas, i am scared. How couldnt i be. The KKK live, breathe and worship hate. Its been so bad that theres this place called Zerns which is a huge flea market, and for a while when my family would go, we would just get scared at, like they've never seen a black person before or they simply didnt like black people. Whatever the reason, i don't like it. To this day, i'm very uneasy going there, and often times i chose not too, its ashame that i have to be afraid to go to a flea market, for fear of what may happen, or the stares i may get.
The only time i really dealt with racism was when i dated a white guy. We dated for 8 months, and i did not once step foot into his home. Yet he was welcome in mine with no problem. My parents have always taught me that you cant help who you fall in love with. It wasnt untill prom that i met his mom, sadly it was only because it was prom. Otherwise i dont believe i wouldve ever met her. I later learned that it was his stepdad that didnt like the fact that his stepson was dating a "black girl." I didn't realize how much it effected me and the people around me untill after we broke up. My parents told me that it hurt them to see me go through a relationship with someone when i'm not even accepted by his parents. It disheartened them because they had accepted my bf regardless of his color, religion etc, why couldnt his parents accept me? And it really hurt me that i wasnt accepted by his parents, they never even gave me a chance. If i would have talked to his parents over the phone, never mentioning i was black and them not knowing beforehand, would they have accepted me? I'm a honor student, i was a cheerleader, i won prom queen, i was on the homecoming court, i played the violin for goodness sake. But if i walked into their house i probably would have been just the "black" girl. I know interracially dating is a whole other issue, but its 2008 ya'll, its happening and its going to happen.
Its sad to think about racism, so i try not too. I love people for who they are. I'm in another interracial relationship now, and happy as ever. His parents love me, and my parents love him. Its good to see that some people have closed their eyes to color, and have decided to walk blindly through the world and accept people for people.
Please excuse the disorganization of my thoughts on this.
Being brought up in a dominantly white area has not crippled me as much as I have seen it cripple others. I socilize with a variety of people, and I was and continue to be taught to love others regardless of how they look and how we label them but instead for who they are.
BUT... To this day, I struggle with the use of identifying labels. Using them makes me feel uncomfortable. This discomfort isn't spurred by a denial of the white privilege but rather by not wanting someone's identifying characteristic to be the color of their skin. I want it to be their smile or their personality -- characteristics that are cross cultural... not the color of their skin, the texture of their hair or their dialect. That limits our already narrow scope to a particular ethnicity.
There are too many different and interesting people in this world for us to categorize people by such broad compartments like ethnicity. Each person has his or her own compartment, and that is ourselves.
I hope that my response made a little bit of sense.
-Anna Goth
Additionally...
It seems as though sometimes we get caught up in how things look in the visual world we live in rather than how they are. We claim to open our eyes and see, but we ironically adopt a tunnel vision and choose not to see certain things.
That was just a thought as I sat in the library.
The first time I felt that it was wrong to be a dark skinned female was introduced to me in the 6th grade. Always being picked on by the light skin boys being called names like shadow and darkness still haughts me till this day. I always felt ugly on the inside and out, asking God why did I have to be the odd ball. At a younger age having to look at my other brothers and sibilings who took on the complextion of my mother who is like skin, it aways made me feel like the outsider. Although my father was a dark skin man even till this day people ask me if my sisters are really my sister and joke around stating that I must be adopted because I look nothing like them, and this always upsetted me.
In middle school I ways felt inferior to the light skin children. The girls had boyfriends or they were considered apart of the most popular crowd. In addition I did not have straight hair. My hair was always braided up and when I did take my braids out my hair looked very thick.
However, although I played with black dolls, I always wanted to be a light skin girl and have the hair of a white girl.
But as I grew older and attempted myself and realized that I am still a beautiful women. In addition other people noticed my beauty as while. Now I wear my hair nature and I love my thick hair and black skin. Its so funny now and days how those who I hated the most (light skin boy) are the ones who want me more. I'm told often how beautiful I am and in my mind I say, "I already know".
Although it took me some time to accept who I am, one thing I know for sure is that I'm BLACK AND BEAUTIFUL AND PROUD OF IT!!
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